(2 Peter 1:19) Consequently we have the prophetic word [made] more sure; and YOU are doing well in paying attention to it as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until day dawns and a daystar rises, in YOUR hearts.
For some reason this scripture made me almost frantic in researching everything about the Watchtower Society on the internet. Also certain subjects from the bible, I just had to research them so in depth that it would be weeks or months before I would go to another subject. I was in a frantic "In Search Of" of exactly what I did not know but I did know it was very important to Jehovah.
On the internet, I found out about a few mansions that the WTS had owned. They also had stocks in corporations that made arms and ammunitions. I even found evidence of their tie to the UN as a NGO. I read how in the 80's the Society has disfellowshipped some Bethelites for not using the WTS's literature out in service but just a bible. And I also had some bad experiences in different congregations myself and saw close friends of mine treated with malice. My immediate family had either died or disowned me so those friends were like real "family" to me at the time.
The brothers and sisters who go to the kingdom halls taught me about the persecution that I should expect. But this persecution was suppose to be from the world. Yes, I did get some from the world. But when it came from those same brothers and sisters it always cut me to the bone because I never expected it from them. (In another post, I will tell a little about that, under the forum thread: "What Life was like at the local kingdom hall," but I will do this a little later.) I was fortunate to know that this treatment was not from Jehovah God but from another source. I always felt embarrassed for Jehovah that these ones that bore His Great Name were bringing reproach upon it by the wicked things they did.
The research I did on things in the bible like "the disgusting thing standing in the holy place" or on 'sin and judgment' or the first century Pharisee's oral laws or the promised group anointing like at Pentecost or when the end of the gentile times really was to occur, lol. I had gotten my hands on the famed 'elder's handbook,' "Shepherding the Flock of God." And up till then was only using another sister's WT CD because at the time there were waiting lists for those. But I finally got my hands on my very own CD and giggled all the way home.
In the early 90's, I had written several times to world headquarters of Jehovah's Witnesses, "Bethel" in New York about some of the things I had seen taken place. I think I had gotten only one return letter from them saying they would check into it. But now I could not help myself from sending in several letters over the next three years asking why the WTS and/or GB were teaching one thing when the scriptures said something different. I would have much scriptural support for every thought I had and was very careful to only ask questions and not make statements as I had learned over the years talking with elders that talking like a brother, aggressively would not get me any where. With the first couple of letters the PO and another elder would call for a time to come and talk to me. They wanted to make sure I was not an apostate. These visits would last about three hours in length. And the elders always left smiling and with no complaint that I was an apostate. After that I was given a new address from the Society to write to and they would reply back to me directly. But not with any real answers to my questions.
Then I started to get what I call 'daring' on the internet. In the fall of 2002, I had found eWatchman and starting actually talking to another anointed JW about what was going on. We even exchanged research. You could not do this in the kingdom hall nor to anyone from there unless you were friends for years. The last thing you wanted was to be labeled or called an apostate. And I never went to chat rooms or forums or anything at that time. Then I found Pathways in the Spring of 2003. And met others that were also "searching" for answers.
Then in June of 2003, I found real answers to questions and spiritual food in abundance. At first, I had read some articles by "DC" [Donald Curtis Burney with YORWW] on Pathways. These articles were very long but had so much to say. I copied three of them (70 Years Declaring The Sacred Name Completed, The 2-Kingdom Concept, and the Servant Prophecies) onto my desktop so I could study them. That is what I did with such articles and I would usually pick them a part scripture by scripture to find fault in them. But these articles were very different. I could not find any fault with them. In fact, they were shocking at first. But the scriptures were very proving to every point made. Most importantly I pray to Jehovah about what these articles pointed out and asked for direction as how to proceed with this new found information. So I started to email "DC" with questions about this information. And more spiritual food would come to my email box as he had actual answers that made sense.
In a few days of getting so much spiritual food made me realize how hungry I was. I could not go back to just reading the Watchtower magazine which in comparison was very dry morsel if that much sometimes. So I order the book called The "Report". And since have read it more than three times and will probably read many, many more times as I seem to get more out of it every time I read it. This scripture is very fitting to it:
(Ezekiel 21:6-7) 6 "And as for you, O son of man, sigh with shaking hips. Even with bitterness you should sigh before their eyes. 7 And it must occur that, in case they say to you, 'On account of what are you sighing?' you must say, 'At a report.' For it will certainly come, and every heart must melt and all hands must drop down and every spirit must become dejected and all knees themselves will drip with water. 'Look! It will certainly come and be brought to occur,' is the utterance of the Sovereign Lord Jehovah."
I have found scriptures that I had read many times, I had no clue as to their real meaning. Even though I had read them so many times and that is what they said in black and white. It was like the real TRUTH was hidden in plain sight. Only Jehovah God could have done this or made this possible to know the meanings of these truly 'sacred secrets.' Now I know them as "Divine Truths" or the actual "Living Waters" flowing from Jehovah Himself.
That is when I disassociated myself from the Watchtower Society and fulfilled this scripture in Revelation:
(Revelation 14:13) 13 And I heard a voice out of heaven say: "Write: Happy are the dead who die in union with [the] Lord from this time onward. Yes, says the spirit, let them rest from their labors, for the things they did go right with them."
And because of this, I will not be included with most Jehovah's Witnesses in the coming disciplining by Jehovah for the wicked acts of the WTS of late. And I hope many other brothers and sisters can also drink these "Living Waters" also and make ready for the Great Day of Jehovah God's coming soon.
